It's VMA time again folks. I don't know about you, but I enjoy the VMA's because even after 25 years of this show alone, MTV STILL can't get their live broadcasts together. As of 9:37 p.m., Jamie Foxx came in with a nearly 5 second delay after the camera cut back to him, Demi Moore walked out onto the stage without her microphone. And the camera cuts are atrocious.
Opening : Britney looks good; she lost a lot of weight. I'm sure her management company threw a shit ton of money at MTV to have her dominate the first 10 minutes of the show. By the way, that’s what actually happens at the beginning of the show: everyone walking to the stage gets an escort to the stage and then off the stage. They also as you, a la cliché, if you're nervous. It's cool; you feel like a rock star.
Russell Brand is still an obnoxious fuck. I'm surprised MTV decided to go so political with the opening monologue. He wasn't ready for this gig; I almost feel bad for him.
9:00: Rihanna’s opening was kind of cool, but she sounded strained.
9:25: Why the fuck did Demi More wear her pajamas?
9:30: This is actually the very first Jonas Brothers song I have ever heard. I was worried that some of those gyrating teenage girls in the windows were going to fall two stories onto the lot.
9:35: Katie Perry sucks live. She doesn't have the vocals to handle a Madonna song. And Madonna doesn't have a spectacular voice, so that isn't saying much.
9:40: Oh Phelpsy, you're so cute.
9:47: Fanny Pak won the dance award? Are you fucking with me? Kabba Modern is the best crew to appear on that dumb show to date.
9:48: Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls definitely thinks she is going to the prom.
9:59: Paramore’s Haley has already kicked both Rihanna and Katie Perry in the teeth in terms of being able to handle a live song. And she says it’s their last show of the year: hopefully that means they’re going to work on some new music. Why bother saying they’re “on the other side of town” like six times if they’re, uh, not?
10:03: OK, someone needs to tell Paris Hilton that having a show where people have to COMPETE to be your friend isn’t cool. Show’s where people want to date you, ok, maybe, but having to solicit for friends doesn’t seem like something I’d want associated with my image.
10:04: Duh, I’m completely aware the show is fake. It’s just a loserish concept.
10:08: I don’t think Slash has changed his clothes in the last 25 years.
10:21: The Ting Tings! They’re so fun and cute.
10:22: Ashlee Simpson is fucking HUUUUUGE. She looks like she is going to eat Pete Wentz.
10:35: I’ve seen Christina Aguilera’s fragrance commercial four times now, and she looks like a tard in every one.
10:38: And, Christina is the first vocalist of the night to lip-synch her performance. Why??? Girl has pipes!
10:52: Britney wins again. Best female video and now best pop video. This is totally make it up to Britney night on MTV’s part. After 16 snubs, she wins awards on a mediocre album?
11:12: And poon tang takes her third award, who gives a fuck. How delightfully scripted.
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