Ker-smash

It's very warm out today. I hope this means that spring is sooner than we think and I can start leaving my apartment windows all night without freezing. I've had enough fo winter. Fo' realz. There was too much snow, and in an urban area like Highland Park/Edison/New Brunswick, snow doesn't look pretty. It gets black and grey and fills up the roads and ices over my car and generally makes everyone miserable. Snowfall is prettier in Monmouth County, but only on days that it isn't getting in the way of work.

Tommorow, I will have had my Honday Civic for one year. Yesterday, while returning from a lunch run (at Wawa, of all places), I was t-boned by an SUV that went through a yield at the end of a jughandle and either see me or tried to beat me.

I have the gnarliest, ugliest, bruise ever on the underside of my left arm from my shoulder to my elbow, where she impacted the driver side of my car, but I am not seriously hurt. But from a distance, it looks like I got my arm slashed open. It's huge, disgusting and itches. Yuck.

The funny thing was, when she hit me, I yelled a lot and then as soon as I got out of the car, all my anger vanished and a calm came over me and I wasn't mad at all.

But, after multiple insurance company calls from three different people, two recorded statements, endless questions asking me to go over what happened again and again, having to get the car towed to a body shop, dealing with police and a general feeling of exhaustion since last night, what bothers me the most is that fact that this woman didn't even attempt to say "I'm sorry''

When I finally got the car over to the side of the road, she gave me a look of complete horror and stopped her car. She got out and stared at the damage to her SUV with her hand to her mouth. I asked her three times if she was OK. She look up at me in shock and then climbed into her car and stayed there. The cops issued her a summons and recognized the fact that I was completely blameless.

I had a big self-pity tirade typed out but I won't post it, because it's useless. I am not hurt. I am driving a big, gaudy bright blue car now with awful speakers, but it's better than driving nothing. My furlough begins in a week, but Watchmen comes out on the sixth. So, I can't be anything less than OK right now.

What I'm feeling a lot of right now is the creeping realization that I need to find something else. I need a new job, particularly after this happened while I was at work for a job that I don't like anymore, picking up lunch from a place I didn't want to go to.

I am hoping to channel this energy into a new spat of job searching, and hope to find something that makes me feel good to do, rather than just puts money in my hands. I don't know what that is, but I've put off finding it for the past year, and I need to get myself back to a good place because where I am now is not healthy, mentally, creatively and physically. I'm ready to go back to my life.

Thanks Giving

It's been a long time since I updated my blog. A long time. Lots of stuff has happened, but it's a combination of not having internet connection in my place, finally getting an internet connection in my place but not being around to use it, and finally, when I am around, preferring to nap instead of putz around on the net.

But enough about that. I'm behind. You get it.

This is a Thanksgiving post.

I was inspired by Nick's (much better produced) entry about what he is thankful for this time of year, and even though Thanksgiving is over, I think this enitre stretch between Thanksgiving-Christmas-New Year's is all about reflection on what's good in your life.

I've been in a bit of a stressed out funk lately, but that's not what I'm going to talk about. This is some of the stuff I am thankful for this year:

Pulling a steady paycheck

Intelligent media (Gawker. Pacifica Radio. NPR. The New York Times)

My puppy, who is always a good sport, even though I drive him nuts.

Living in a free, developed, Democratic country (This is not an Obama endorsement. This is more in line with watching what is happening in other parts of the world where women and children are gunned down because they happened to be in the rich part of town. This is after watching millions of people who never had a thing to believe in in their lives get excited about something and actually exercize their rights (obligation?) as citizens and participate in the democratic process.)

Finally finding a good apartment that doesn't have pest problems, noisy neighbors or uncaring building supers.

My family, for helping me move in, giving me furniture, cookware, plates, glasses, groceries, toilet paper and everything else one needs to live in an apartment on a daily basis.

My friends for being patient with me even though I haven't been the friendliest person lately.

Good chinese takeout (and Ellios frozen pizza, when the money is tight)

My old man, for allowing me to boss him around all day, and listening patiently when I'm on about something and loving me anyway.

At the moment, that's what's keeping me sane these days. I think I'm ready for the Christmas season. It will be interesting to do Christmas on a shorestring budget, but maybe this year, I'll be ble to sit back and enjoy the Christmas season instead of worrying so much about shopping.

R-O-C-K in the USA!!!

The fact that the American dollar is burning is really casting a cloud over my personal parade for moving into my new apartment.

There isn't anyone who can convince me now that I won't lose my job in October when the Press is forced to cut more people. When I started this job two years ago, I set a deadline of two years and said no matter what, I'd leave by September 2008. It wasn't for any particular reason, two years just sounded good to put on a resume. Maybe I'm clairvoyant. Hmmmm.....

2008 VMA Liveblog

(From Sunday)

It's VMA time again folks. I don't know about you, but I enjoy the VMA's because even after 25 years of this show alone, MTV STILL can't get their live broadcasts together. As of 9:37 p.m., Jamie Foxx came in with a nearly 5 second delay after the camera cut back to him, Demi Moore walked out onto the stage without her microphone. And the camera cuts are atrocious.

Opening : Britney looks good; she lost a lot of weight. I'm sure her management company threw a shit ton of money at MTV to have her dominate the first 10 minutes of the show. By the way, that’s what actually happens at the beginning of the show: everyone walking to the stage gets an escort to the stage and then off the stage. They also as you, a la cliché, if you're nervous. It's cool; you feel like a rock star.

Russell Brand is still an obnoxious fuck. I'm surprised MTV decided to go so political with the opening monologue. He wasn't ready for this gig; I almost feel bad for him.

9:00: Rihanna’s opening was kind of cool, but she sounded strained.

9:25: Why the fuck did Demi More wear her pajamas?

9:30: This is actually the very first Jonas Brothers song I have ever heard. I was worried that some of those gyrating teenage girls in the windows were going to fall two stories onto the lot.

9:35: Katie Perry sucks live. She doesn't have the vocals to handle a Madonna song. And Madonna doesn't have a spectacular voice, so that isn't saying much.

9:40: Oh Phelpsy, you're so cute.

9:47: Fanny Pak won the dance award? Are you fucking with me? Kabba Modern is the best crew to appear on that dumb show to date.

9:48: Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls definitely thinks she is going to the prom.

9:59: Paramore’s Haley has already kicked both Rihanna and Katie Perry in the teeth in terms of being able to handle a live song. And she says it’s their last show of the year: hopefully that means they’re going to work on some new music. Why bother saying they’re “on the other side of town” like six times if they’re, uh, not?

10:03: OK, someone needs to tell Paris Hilton that having a show where people have to COMPETE to be your friend isn’t cool. Show’s where people want to date you, ok, maybe, but having to solicit for friends doesn’t seem like something I’d want associated with my image.

10:04: Duh, I’m completely aware the show is fake. It’s just a loserish concept.

10:08: I don’t think Slash has changed his clothes in the last 25 years.

10:21: The Ting Tings! They’re so fun and cute.

10:22: Ashlee Simpson is fucking HUUUUUGE. She looks like she is going to eat Pete Wentz.

10:35: I’ve seen Christina Aguilera’s fragrance commercial four times now, and she looks like a tard in every one.

10:38: And, Christina is the first vocalist of the night to lip-synch her performance. Why??? Girl has pipes!

10:52: Britney wins again. Best female video and now best pop video. This is totally make it up to Britney night on MTV’s part. After 16 snubs, she wins awards on a mediocre album?

11:12: And poon tang takes her third award, who gives a fuck. How delightfully scripted.

I am sick of being reprimanded for writing articles in the manner of assuming that my readers will be able to easily understand what I am talking about without dumbing it down. I'm SICK of having to go back and rewrite and spell every little thing out and jam my point in your face so you'll be sure to understand it.

So, the next time you pick up a newspaper, any paper, consider the fact that the paper you are giving your money to thinks that you can't follow what they are talking about without them spelling it out explicitly. Chew on that for a while.

Dear Project Runway,

Please stop editing scenes of the contestants into the show of them saying ""I have NAOOOOO idea WHERE we are goingggggggggg.........." when Tim takes them to their challenge. Every season has been guilty of this.

I KNOW they have an idea of what the challenge is, but of COURSE they can't tell us before they show them getting there. Urgg!!!!!

Black Thursday

If you follow news or the ramblings of gadflys in the blogosphere (Do I ever fucking hate that word), several people used the phrase ""Black Thursday" to refer to Gannett's annoucement this afternoon that they would be laying off about 1,000 employees nation wide at their smaller papers. Read about it here at Gawker. (And, keeping with the theme of the entry, the Gawker post about this only got 740 views and 20 comments, when a posting about some dumb girl who may or may not attend Princeton posting on her Facebook got 24,319 views and 243 comments. I.fucking.hate.EVERYONE.in my generation who has access to a computer.)

(I'll be honest: I was going to call her a "dumb c*nt', but it's not her fault that generation hip values the Facebook updates of complete strangers more than they do keeping abreast of the news by way of honest, objective sources. But I digress.)

This comes on the heels of the Star-Ledger announcing they would sell the paper in October if 200 employees didn't take buyouts, and Hearst also announcing that they were looking to combine the Daily News with another paper, or sell it.

Why this is problematic for me: The Press will be laying off 50 employees.This is the second round of layoffs in nearly six months that Gannett has gone through. I've said a few times that the business is circling the drain, but now I am legitimately concerned that the end of print is coming a lot sooner than we think.

I'm mad.
I'm mad because I am trying to buy my way into an apartment this weekend, and come Monday, I might not have a job anymore.
I'm mad because I spent four years studying a dying industry and didn't bother to minor in anything. Technically, I would consider Radio my minor, but that's not doing too well either. I wish I had tapped into marketing or advertising.
In the event of losing my job, I know I could probably find something else in a timely manner. The next logical step would be to do PR, but the thought of being a PR girl turns my stomach. when I hear the voice of a 20 something fresh outta college girl on the other end of my line, trying to tell me how totally, seriously awesome something that has no relevance to my beat is, and when do I want to speak to the person in charge of it, I literally hiss.

But most of all, I am upset that as as a whole, the career choice of media has failed me as well as several of my friends, who can't even find work in their preferred field, if at all.

I'm dying to go back to school, get my MBA, take culinary courses and open a small restaurant. But I'm afraid of getting saddled with loans.

If anything, I can be a guest judge on Project Runway. They've been using lots of nobodys this season.

To relax my rattled bones, I am going to go watch Colbert Report and Root of all Evil. The nonsensical rantings of middle aged men usually pacifies me pretty well.